04 April 2009

But if I didn't take these breaks...

...from posting, I would have tons of posts that look like this:

TIRED!! I have spent the last 3 weeks feeling very very sleepy all day and all night, and I have been very miserable, but had to pretend I wasn't, which was probably good for my character.

or this:

Why is everyone dumb?

or this:

I HATE this town!! I hate this wretched, wretched town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why would anyone live here on purpose?

or this:

How does one stop hanging out with people with whom one has entirely nothing in common anymore, yet the people don't realize it. Only you do. You go, and hang out, and try to talk, but they don't understand anything in your life anymore, and you just try not to offend them with your tiredness or your difference from them, but they insist on being offended anyway. I guess that's how you stop hanging out. (for further and more articulate and comforting explanation, see here.)

or this:

Today I cleaned the house and went to work and came home and sat on the couch and felt lonely and sorry for myself, because Steve was studying, and I see him once a week, it seems like.

But I should explain that last one. He really has been studying a lot, but 1) I am grateful that he's going get this certification thingy, because it will be good for our future. 2) He is so diligent, I know he will pass. 3) He cares so much about me and our marriage that he does special things for me, like brings me flowers and things, to make up for not getting to see me very much, even though he's tired and busy. And that (his caring so much) is something that I can never be thankful enough for, and that I just don't deserve at all!

So it's alright. Everything will be okay, but I just don't post sometimes, because I am tired, and tired of the world, and I think everyone is dumb, and mean, and I hate everything, and almost everybody, and especially my students. And if I told you all that, you might be rather offended. Because I say it rather cuttingly when I am in those moods.


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