09 March 2010

how dare you think I'm not busy?

(Not you personally.)

I've been so sick these days that I have forgotten that what I have been waiting for has finally happened: it is now okay to publicly mention that we are moving to Austin! I am so excited I can't stand it! We have a little apartment down town that we will live in until we have had time to get to know the area and find a house.

Anyway, more later. I have been pondering why I should be so sick so often. I do not have children, a stressful job, or a stressful husband. Why am I all the time tired and worn out? It must be something I do to myself. Just an aimless pondering. Although if I could find out, I could fix things.

I rarely sit down. Well, not as much as I could. I even less often sleep late, even though I could almost every day. Once at a family gathering, I commented to a distant relative, " Oh, I would never have been able to be ready for this trip if we had tried to leave before 5 anyway." Or something to that effect. She seemed genuinely shocked when she relied, "Really? What were you busy with?"

What was I busy with? I was rather annoyed at her presuming that I have time on my hands. What am I ever not busy with?

But slowly it dawned on me that, to a sort of, well, for lack of a better word, outsider, my life looks as if it should not be busy at all.

I teach about 13 hours a week or so. A mere fraction of most peoples' work weeks. Add to that coming and going, and keeping the house spotless for the students who come here. Fine.

Dance classes 7 to 8 hours a week. That's by choice, and it only takes up 3 mornings. It's the
only work-out I have, besides the occasional hour on Saturday at the gym with Steve.

Practice? I practice rather inconsistently, several hours a week right now. So, not much.

All I have to worry about is our itty bitty condo and Steve, who is so low-maintenance. Indeed, what could I possibly be busy with?

Well, hmm... I do cook a lot for us, even though I don't have to. Steve is happy with sandwiches or whatever. I probably cook almost as much as I will when we have kids, because I am always making huge pots of something to put in the freezer or something I can pop in the oven the second I get home from teaching.

I do sit down and facebook, sometimes. Not even every day anymore. Probably more days than not, but not for hours on end. And I obviously don't blog terribly regularly.

I don't have any TV shows that I watch regularly. I never watch TV during the day, and only maybe in the evening with Steve. I do talk on the phone a lot to my mother, father, brothers and sisters. A lot. And a few friends I talk to now and then. And laundry and walking the dog and buying groceries. Thinking up, and then locating and buying, music for my students to play. Going places on the weekend to see family. I don't know. Studying my favorite languages semi-regularly. Going to lunch with a friend. Painting a piece of furniture. Reading the occasional book. It just seems that every day goes by and I hardly sit down during it, except to teach.

Of course, it's annoying that people assume otherwise, but I think they just project their un-busy lives on me.