sumptuous

I've been so apathetic about my piano-playing lately. It demands too much energy and emotion to make the notes into music, and I feel I have a tired mind and dry spirit these days. I am always missing my Love, since he's been out of town every week for the past couple of months, and the pressure of recording soon is also taking from me.

Anyway, I just remembered another time in my life when I felt this way, tired and with nothing to give. At that point, I was reading along in the first couple chapters of Lamentations, vaguely wondering what I was supposed to get out of this seemingly boring book. I came to the bottom of the page, just before it was time to turn, and saw this:

But this I call to mind, and therefore have hope:

What a time to turn the page! I was surprised, after I turned, to see these words which I have sung all my life but had not thought about in quite some time:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.

The Lord is my portion. His sweet mercy of which I need so much, is new every morning, and belongs to me! He shares Himself with me- his creativity that spun huge galaxies and the intricacies of a Bach fugue, his mind that imagined sunsets, hunger and food, the richness of romance, chocolate, pumpkin rum pound cake and caramel apples. When my soul is dry, He is never lacking in beauty for my eyes and spirit, and love for my heart, and usually, even rich, lovely physical food.

He brought me to his banqueting table and His banner over me is Love. ~Song of Solomon 2:4



He is rich in all good things, and we are a part of those things if we stand under the blood of Jesus as God's children. Being included in and invited to goodness and good things reminded me of that picture so much.

And since He is rich in all that, I don't have to find it in myself, because honestly, I just can't. So when I play the piano and it comes out lovely and not dry, I know it's from Him and not me.

Singers and dancers alike say, "All my springs are in You." ~Psalm 87:7