Sometimes, late at night, I just want to say things. I have specific things in my mind that I wish I could say, to people and also just to nobody. So I suppose I'll just say them now. Nobody listen, okay? And if you are listening, these phrases are not about you. Here goes:
1. Why do Dallas moms annoy me when I see that they are SO skinny and well-kept and worked out and made up? It's because it looks like they spend WAY more time on themselves than on anything else in their lives altogether, let alone their kids. But then, when I see obvious "home school" moms, I'm equally annoyed that they seem to think it's a deadly sin to spend any time on their appearances at all. And it's a deadly sin not to have '80s hair.
{Disclaimer: I mean to utterly ignore my audience (supposing I have one) in this post, but I must say that if you're a home school mom and you happen to be reading this, I'm sorry. You are present company, and you're excluded. I've seen all that I can see about what it takes without actually being the mom myself. I've seen my own mother for the past 30 years, 26 of which were spent (and are still being spent homeschooling. My mom is really strong, but I've seen the numerous nervous breakdowns of others who tried what she did. I've seen the denim jumpers, I've seen everything. I know, you don't have time for yourself. I admire you. I get it. I will probably be you someday. I just don't know why on earth so many women, these people with no time at all to claim for their own, can somehow still have '80s hair. I could show you pictures of them by the thousands. But there are nice, well-balanced, pretty moms who wear what they want and don't have cutting edge hair, and they are fine with me. Even pretty ones are fine, or stylish ones, I just, I don't know... there is just that certain kind in Dallas sometimes. Anyway, I'm rambling...}
2. Oh, but I'm supposed to be rambling tonight. Going from point to point, saying non-specific things that require explanation, and then not giving it. Saying things that require being backed up with facts, and then not giving any. Kind of like someone else did tonight. (Today is Wednesday, January 27th.)
3. I am sad because I might not get to go to this once in a lifetime bridal shower in March in San Antonio.
4. I do not require being made to feel better.
5. Oh, you wouldn't be interested, since it's about things you've never thought of and I'm sure you couldn't bear to have a new idea imposed upon your mind.
6. I am excited about life. Something big is about to happen I think... Perhaps it wont, but it might.
7. Why do so few people understand the grammatical structures of their native English? It's highly annoying. I passed a bookstore, a Christian bookstore, which had letters in the window that said, "Let your cup runneth over." Now, I am aware that the 23rd Psalm says, in the King James Version, "My cup runneth over." But if you want to let yours run over, it's a completely different matter, and there is no use for the '-eth' in that case. These days, the suffix '-eth' has been replaced by '-s' or '-es' depending on the word. So, if I said, "Let your cup run over," there would not be an 's' unless I made a mistake and said "Let your cup runs over," which would be ridiculous. I had this figured out before I could read, I'm sure. (I had heard the Psalms in the King James plenty of times by the time I was 7 which, yes, is how old I was when I could finally read.) You see, I've never been the brightest, but isn't this obvious? And I don't have much hope that anyone else understands it. I know my mother and siblings do, but I have tried to explain it to other people and they just stare at me blankly or with thinly veiled boredom. I have seen 'eth' misused hundreds of times, besides that instance. But aside from this problem, there are so many other more pressing and habitual misunderstandings of grammar that I am just no longer disposed to withhold internal judgments on the people who misunderstand. I'm sure they have had ample opportunity to learn.
One time, in a college English class, sentences were written up on the overhead so that we could practice finding and correcting the passive voice. One of the sentences, I quote verbatim, because I have never forgotten, said, "To error is human, to forgive is divine." When my turn came to speak up, I tried to point out that 'error' is a noun, and the verb is 'to err.' Nobody understood or would listen any further, not even the teacher. (I don't think she deserves to be called Professor.) Yes, of course that is mean of me. She was probably so wrapped up in wanting us to understand the passive voice that she thought I was just misunderstanding and not finding it, and missed the point entirely. I hope. But I thought I explained it pretty clearly.
8. Speaking of thinly veiled boredom, I am writing a random story, to post soon. I was inspired by some pictures in Vogue a few months ago.
9. This keyboard on my shiny new black computer feels good to type on.
27 January 2010
101st post
My Love was my 100th post! Isn't that sort of fun?
I just wanted to post something using my brand new laptop that he got me today. My little old mac was so bad, I had to be in one small square inch of our living room floor to get internet at all, and even then it was really slow and would sometimes drop for no reason.
So, I can now blog from any room in the house, or sit on the couch at any angle, facing any direction and still be online! I am really excited. So happy and un-frustrated. I did not know how much it bothered me to have a terrible computer until I got a lovely, wonderful one.
I just wanted to post something using my brand new laptop that he got me today. My little old mac was so bad, I had to be in one small square inch of our living room floor to get internet at all, and even then it was really slow and would sometimes drop for no reason.
So, I can now blog from any room in the house, or sit on the couch at any angle, facing any direction and still be online! I am really excited. So happy and un-frustrated. I did not know how much it bothered me to have a terrible computer until I got a lovely, wonderful one.
23 January 2010
my Love
My husband is so tall and handsome and wonderful.
I loved marrying him.
He is very manly and I love how he always mostly wears boots.
See the boots?He puts up with me patiently, even in the car.
He LOVES his doggie. :) It makes me really happy to see them together.
I have always thought that he has a quite perfect nose,
and his smile makes me really, really happy.
Every single time I see it.
He is always so kind to me, and extraordinarily patient. He is even willing to do impractical things that I love, like camping,
or going to tea places and things like that.
He loves me so much, and being his wife makes me happier than I ever thought someone could be.
17 January 2010
sin and bad storytelling
I wanted to share this post my brother recently sent to me and my sisters. Its message was simple but very important to my life. Especially the part about telling ourselves scary stories. I'm guilty of that. Anyway, I like that blog and I will be looking at it more often now that I've been reminded of it.
11 January 2010
Platitudes and Tolerance
After writing this post, the thought crossed my mind that I could have titled it "Zero Tolerance for Platitudes," but that it would have been far too cheesy. But I still had to share it with you. Sorry.
Platitude. An ugly word with an ugly meaning, I've always thought. I recently saw the word platitude defined as follows:
a trite, meaningless, biased, or prosaic statement that is presented as if it were significant and original.
Webster's dictionary defines it this way:
1 : the quality or state of being dull or insipid
2 : a banal, trite or stale remark
These definitions make sense to me, as I've always heard the word used in a negative light. But the other day I heard someone use it in a positive way. Quoting a statement that was un-insipid, relevant and quite true, the person then happily called it a platitude, almost as if to give the quote a compliment. Maybe they meant to say homily, which was much more what the statement was, I thought.
Anyway, in church yesterday, our pastor was talking about how important it is for Christians not to get sucked into the mentality that Christianity is fine for us at home, and fine for Sunday, but we need to leave it in it's place, and not take it into real life with us, to school, to the office, etc. To not get stuck saying, well, this is what I believe, but it may not be true for you. The truth is, our pastor said, Christianity is true for everyone, whether they know it or not, as difficult as that is to swallow in the "tolerant" world we live in. I agree with this statement, but it sounds so outrageous to our habitually, or should I say blindly tolerant culture.
I think tolerance is the new "morality" in the vacuum left now that truth has been declared nonexistent. There is so much talk of problems like racism and bigotry in our culture. Since absolute truth doesn't exist, there is no moral standard to tell me, "Every human being was created by God in His own image and therefore has dignity and value, so I should treat them as I would want them to treat me." No, if absolute truth does not exist, then the other person is a pile of atoms and cells just as I am, so if I don't like them, who says I have to? Tolerance does. Tolerance is the new god. In the absence of truth, and hence a moral code, society has to force people to act on the Golden Rule while telling them it doesn't exist. Because if it existed, that might offend somebody.
Of course as a Christian, I don't advocate being ugly to people, regardless of race, class, lifestyle or what have you, but I cannot say that I value anyone simply because I am a nice person, or because I am "tolerant." I value all people ultimately because God does, and He commands me to as well.
Sadly, most churches in America sheepishly give people options, to be believed if one feels comfortable believing, rather than the Truth, to avoid being considered "intolerant." I think that is why the church has become so irrelevant in the culture. The American church in general has made itself trite, insipid and banal. A platitude.
(this post seems a little rough. I am trying to put my thoughts together more coherently, but for now, I am just posting it anyway.)
Platitude. An ugly word with an ugly meaning, I've always thought. I recently saw the word platitude defined as follows:
a trite, meaningless, biased, or prosaic statement that is presented as if it were significant and original.
Webster's dictionary defines it this way:
1 : the quality or state of being dull or insipid
2 : a banal, trite or stale remark
These definitions make sense to me, as I've always heard the word used in a negative light. But the other day I heard someone use it in a positive way. Quoting a statement that was un-insipid, relevant and quite true, the person then happily called it a platitude, almost as if to give the quote a compliment. Maybe they meant to say homily, which was much more what the statement was, I thought.
Anyway, in church yesterday, our pastor was talking about how important it is for Christians not to get sucked into the mentality that Christianity is fine for us at home, and fine for Sunday, but we need to leave it in it's place, and not take it into real life with us, to school, to the office, etc. To not get stuck saying, well, this is what I believe, but it may not be true for you. The truth is, our pastor said, Christianity is true for everyone, whether they know it or not, as difficult as that is to swallow in the "tolerant" world we live in. I agree with this statement, but it sounds so outrageous to our habitually, or should I say blindly tolerant culture.
I think tolerance is the new "morality" in the vacuum left now that truth has been declared nonexistent. There is so much talk of problems like racism and bigotry in our culture. Since absolute truth doesn't exist, there is no moral standard to tell me, "Every human being was created by God in His own image and therefore has dignity and value, so I should treat them as I would want them to treat me." No, if absolute truth does not exist, then the other person is a pile of atoms and cells just as I am, so if I don't like them, who says I have to? Tolerance does. Tolerance is the new god. In the absence of truth, and hence a moral code, society has to force people to act on the Golden Rule while telling them it doesn't exist. Because if it existed, that might offend somebody.
Of course as a Christian, I don't advocate being ugly to people, regardless of race, class, lifestyle or what have you, but I cannot say that I value anyone simply because I am a nice person, or because I am "tolerant." I value all people ultimately because God does, and He commands me to as well.
Sadly, most churches in America sheepishly give people options, to be believed if one feels comfortable believing, rather than the Truth, to avoid being considered "intolerant." I think that is why the church has become so irrelevant in the culture. The American church in general has made itself trite, insipid and banal. A platitude.
(this post seems a little rough. I am trying to put my thoughts together more coherently, but for now, I am just posting it anyway.)
09 January 2010
It's only the 9th...
New Year's resolutions are restrictive and harmful to my creativity. Let me explain:
Resolutions are so cumbersome to me. They ruin my life and I never accomplish them. For instance, I am not one of those magical people who always fits into their jeans or who never thinks their face is fat. But if I ever promise to go on a diet, I wake up thinking, What can I eat? When can I eat? When and what can I eat after that? It works better just to think, okay, I'll just eat a tiny bit less of everything and that does the trick for me. Well, the same thing happens with resolutions. I wake up thinking, I know I said I would, but I'll do it tomorrow, or How long can I go without doing it? and then live the rest of the year with the discouraging knowledge that I didn't do it.
So, since there are things I would like to change about myself and the way I live, and since New Year's is sort of a good time for new beginnings, I decided that I will just do whatever I want all the time without over-thinking it and making it a big deal. I did not select anything specific to change, but only made that one decision. How is it going?
So far, I have...
~kept a cleaner house
~read a lot more than usual
~put things away when I didn't feel like it but wanted them put away
~eaten more chocolate (I am eating a Cadbury Cream Egg this minute! Yes, they are already out on the check-out stands at our Kroger)
~completely stopped stressing about when to dye my roots again
~been more organized with my time
~eaten more pasta
~never missed a day of Bible study (it's only the 9th, I know.)
~felt excessively grateful at my current ability (and it's been a long time!) to see my collar bones in the mirror (under the skin, of course)
~bought a year's worth of awesome skincare (for way cheaper on ebay) and the first matching set of bra and panties I've had since I was 14
~given in and corrected peoples' spelling errors on facebook (I've said before, grammar I don't care about--facebook itself is nothing but a blight on the world of grammar it seems, and typos are understandable, but out-and-out misspellings are not. If people don't like it, they shouldn't misspell things.)
~probably pleased my general acquaintance far less than usual by not fretfully considering their opinions in anything I've done.
It's been great!!!
Resolutions are so cumbersome to me. They ruin my life and I never accomplish them. For instance, I am not one of those magical people who always fits into their jeans or who never thinks their face is fat. But if I ever promise to go on a diet, I wake up thinking, What can I eat? When can I eat? When and what can I eat after that? It works better just to think, okay, I'll just eat a tiny bit less of everything and that does the trick for me. Well, the same thing happens with resolutions. I wake up thinking, I know I said I would, but I'll do it tomorrow, or How long can I go without doing it? and then live the rest of the year with the discouraging knowledge that I didn't do it.
So, since there are things I would like to change about myself and the way I live, and since New Year's is sort of a good time for new beginnings, I decided that I will just do whatever I want all the time without over-thinking it and making it a big deal. I did not select anything specific to change, but only made that one decision. How is it going?
So far, I have...
~kept a cleaner house
~read a lot more than usual
~put things away when I didn't feel like it but wanted them put away
~eaten more chocolate (I am eating a Cadbury Cream Egg this minute! Yes, they are already out on the check-out stands at our Kroger)
~completely stopped stressing about when to dye my roots again
~been more organized with my time
~eaten more pasta
~never missed a day of Bible study (it's only the 9th, I know.)
~felt excessively grateful at my current ability (and it's been a long time!) to see my collar bones in the mirror (under the skin, of course)
~bought a year's worth of awesome skincare (for way cheaper on ebay) and the first matching set of bra and panties I've had since I was 14
~given in and corrected peoples' spelling errors on facebook (I've said before, grammar I don't care about--facebook itself is nothing but a blight on the world of grammar it seems, and typos are understandable, but out-and-out misspellings are not. If people don't like it, they shouldn't misspell things.)
~probably pleased my general acquaintance far less than usual by not fretfully considering their opinions in anything I've done.
It's been great!!!
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