Excuse me a moment.

Sometimes, late at night, I just want to say things. I have specific things in my mind that I wish I could say, to people and also just to nobody. So I suppose I'll just say them now. Nobody listen, okay? And if you are listening, these phrases are not about you. Here goes:

1. Why do Dallas moms annoy me when I see that they are SO skinny and well-kept and worked out and made up? It's because it looks like they spend WAY more time on themselves than on anything else in their lives altogether, let alone their kids. But then, when I see obvious "home school" moms, I'm equally annoyed that they seem to think it's a deadly sin to spend any time on their appearances at all. And it's a deadly sin not to have '80s hair.

{Disclaimer: I mean to utterly ignore my audience (supposing I have one) in this post, but I must say that if you're a home school mom and you happen to be reading this, I'm sorry. You are present company, and you're excluded. I've seen all that I can see about what it takes without actually being the mom myself. I've seen my own mother for the past 30 years, 26 of which were spent (and are still being spent homeschooling. My mom is really strong, but I've seen the numerous nervous breakdowns of others who tried what she did. I've seen the denim jumpers, I've seen everything. I know, you don't have time for yourself. I admire you. I get it. I will probably be you someday. I just don't know why on earth so many women, these people with no time at all to claim for their own, can somehow still have '80s hair. I could show you pictures of them by the thousands. But there are nice, well-balanced, pretty moms who wear what they want and don't have cutting edge hair, and they are fine with me. Even pretty ones are fine, or stylish ones, I just, I don't know... there is just that certain kind in Dallas sometimes. Anyway, I'm rambling...}

2. Oh, but I'm supposed to be rambling tonight. Going from point to point, saying non-specific things that require explanation, and then not giving it. Saying things that require being backed up with facts, and then not giving any. Kind of like someone else did tonight. (Today is Wednesday, January 27th.)

3. I am sad because I might not get to go to this once in a lifetime bridal shower in March in San Antonio.

4. I do not require being made to feel better.

5. Oh, you wouldn't be interested, since it's about things you've never thought of and I'm sure you couldn't bear to have a new idea imposed upon your mind.

6. I am excited about life. Something big is about to happen I think... Perhaps it wont, but it might.

7. Why do so few people understand the grammatical structures of their native English? It's highly annoying. I passed a bookstore, a Christian bookstore, which had letters in the window that said, "Let your cup runneth over." Now, I am aware that the 23rd Psalm says, in the King James Version, "My cup runneth over." But if you want to let yours run over, it's a completely different matter, and there is no use for the '-eth' in that case. These days, the suffix '-eth' has been replaced by '-s' or '-es' depending on the word. So, if I said, "Let your cup run over," there would not be an 's' unless I made a mistake and said "Let your cup runs over," which would be ridiculous. I had this figured out before I could read, I'm sure. (I had heard the Psalms in the King James plenty of times by the time I was 7 which, yes, is how old I was when I could finally read.) You see, I've never been the brightest, but isn't this obvious? And I don't have much hope that anyone else understands it. I know my mother and siblings do, but I have tried to explain it to other people and they just stare at me blankly or with thinly veiled boredom. I have seen 'eth' misused hundreds of times, besides that instance. But aside from this problem, there are so many other more pressing and habitual misunderstandings of grammar that I am just no longer disposed to withhold internal judgments on the people who misunderstand. I'm sure they have had ample opportunity to learn.

One time, in a college English class, sentences were written up on the overhead so that we could practice finding and correcting the passive voice. One of the sentences, I quote verbatim, because I have never forgotten, said, "To error is human, to forgive is divine." When my turn came to speak up, I tried to point out that 'error' is a noun, and the verb is 'to err.' Nobody understood or would listen any further, not even the teacher. (I don't think she deserves to be called Professor.) Yes, of course that is mean of me. She was probably so wrapped up in wanting us to understand the passive voice that she thought I was just misunderstanding and not finding it, and missed the point entirely. I hope. But I thought I explained it pretty clearly.

8. Speaking of thinly veiled boredom, I am writing a random story, to post soon. I was inspired by some pictures in Vogue a few months ago.

9. This keyboard on my shiny new black computer feels good to type on.