If I could just remember Jesus on the cross, paying for my sins, I would not have the pride to get angry with people for hurting me.
If I could just remember Jesus on the cross, there because of my inability to understand or meet God's standard of holiness, I would not be so upset when people misunderstand me. After all, I didn't understand Jesus.
If I could just remember Jesus on the cross, and the fact that I caused Him to go there, I would not be anxious about the future, because I would be remembering how kind He is.
If I could just remember Jesus on the cross, because of me, I would be so thankful all the time that I would not have room for worry and fear, prideful anger, or bratty ungratefulness.
If I could just remember that Jesus died on the cross for me, it would change my life.
It has changed my life that I know it, and remember it a little bit, but the more I remember it, the more it would change me. Is that what it means to be freed from your sins?
15 July 2011
11 July 2011
answered prayer
I prayed for obedience and I got peace. I asked Him to take away the worry, because the worry is too heavy for me and besides that, worry is disobedience.
On a little road trip with my Mimi this summer, she told me of some times when she has said, "This was not where I thought I would go, but Lord, if you want me to be here, then this is where I will be." There are so many things in my life about which I do not say that, but instead, fight for the way I think it should be.
I don't know why surrender is so hard for me, when I know that God loves me and doesn't make a mistake! But the peace that comes from not fighting is worth the surrender.
On a little road trip with my Mimi this summer, she told me of some times when she has said, "This was not where I thought I would go, but Lord, if you want me to be here, then this is where I will be." There are so many things in my life about which I do not say that, but instead, fight for the way I think it should be.
I don't know why surrender is so hard for me, when I know that God loves me and doesn't make a mistake! But the peace that comes from not fighting is worth the surrender.
07 July 2011
I just got home from the grocery store and I'm really tired and need to go eat a snack. I'd just like to take a moment to say how thrilled I am to see that not everyone dresses their little boy in bright, toy-print covered colors all the time.
I know it's trivial, but those pictures give me the encouraging idea I am not the only person in the world who wants to dress their baby like a person, not a doll. I know there is a time and place for colorful, casual, smothered-in-baby-print clothing. It's called home, and it's probably most of the time. But I'm hungry, I'm in an opinionated mood, and I needed to say this.
I know it's trivial, but those pictures give me the encouraging idea I am not the only person in the world who wants to dress their baby like a person, not a doll. I know there is a time and place for colorful, casual, smothered-in-baby-print clothing. It's called home, and it's probably most of the time. But I'm hungry, I'm in an opinionated mood, and I needed to say this.
15 June 2011
a ticket
I woke up this morning to see a facebook status of a distant friend from one of my music theory classes. He said:
"Dear friends, our little boy, Joseph Lee Erickson, is with Jesus and was born today at 3:52 PM. He was 9 lbs 4 oz and 23 inches long! He's a big, beautiful boy that we love and will miss so much. Thank you all for your prayers and support."
I was shaken with shock and sadness. I don't really know this man anymore, and I don't know his wife at all, but it did not seem a complicated or abnormal situation, from what I could tell. Every month on facebook, the daddy put up fun little updates that said things like, "Our baby is the size of a cucumber." or whatever. His excitement at the normal progression of the pregnancy was evident. You look at these situations and just say, "Why?"
I know of 5 or 6 people who have had births like this, some family, others friends or even friends of friends. Of course the next thought is, what if that happens to me?
My mother reminded me of something that I usually remind myself of in these situations: In her book, The Hiding Place, Christian author Corrie ten Boom remembers going regularly to Amsterdam by train as a little girl with her father. One day at the station, shortly after being faced with the death of a little baby, she told her father that she was afraid to die, or afraid that something bad would happen to her family, and that she would not be able to bear it.
Her father answered, "Corrie, when we go to Amsterdam on the train, when do I give you your ticket?"
Little Corrie's answer was "Just before we get on the train."
Her father said,"That's right, Corrie. You don't need your ticket until you are about to board the train. But I always give you your ticket just in time. That's how our wonderful heavenly Father is. He always gives us just what we need, and He is never late."
Ever since I read The Hiding Place as a little girl, that little story has given me so much comfort and insight into God's care for us. When I worry about what could or might happen, I have to force myself to remember that I do not have a "ticket" to bear those things now. They are not trains that I have been asked to get on. If and when I am asked to get on one of those trains, the Lord will provide what I need at the moment I need it.
"Dear friends, our little boy, Joseph Lee Erickson, is with Jesus and was born today at 3:52 PM. He was 9 lbs 4 oz and 23 inches long! He's a big, beautiful boy that we love and will miss so much. Thank you all for your prayers and support."
I was shaken with shock and sadness. I don't really know this man anymore, and I don't know his wife at all, but it did not seem a complicated or abnormal situation, from what I could tell. Every month on facebook, the daddy put up fun little updates that said things like, "Our baby is the size of a cucumber." or whatever. His excitement at the normal progression of the pregnancy was evident. You look at these situations and just say, "Why?"
I know of 5 or 6 people who have had births like this, some family, others friends or even friends of friends. Of course the next thought is, what if that happens to me?
My mother reminded me of something that I usually remind myself of in these situations: In her book, The Hiding Place, Christian author Corrie ten Boom remembers going regularly to Amsterdam by train as a little girl with her father. One day at the station, shortly after being faced with the death of a little baby, she told her father that she was afraid to die, or afraid that something bad would happen to her family, and that she would not be able to bear it.
Her father answered, "Corrie, when we go to Amsterdam on the train, when do I give you your ticket?"
Little Corrie's answer was "Just before we get on the train."
Her father said,"That's right, Corrie. You don't need your ticket until you are about to board the train. But I always give you your ticket just in time. That's how our wonderful heavenly Father is. He always gives us just what we need, and He is never late."
Ever since I read The Hiding Place as a little girl, that little story has given me so much comfort and insight into God's care for us. When I worry about what could or might happen, I have to force myself to remember that I do not have a "ticket" to bear those things now. They are not trains that I have been asked to get on. If and when I am asked to get on one of those trains, the Lord will provide what I need at the moment I need it.
14 June 2011
Tonight I discovered that another of my siblings has a blog: my sister Kathleen. I discovered her to be a pretty good storyteller, something I had not really had occasion to see before. The dog walking post was quite fun.
Anyway, I read a post of hers that happened to be also something she had talked with me about previously, something interesting that had been on her mind that was now on mine as well. I had some more thoughts about the subject and put them down rather inefficiently as a bunch of comments on her post. Rather than make a whole blog post restating it all, I'll just link to it here.
Anyway, I read a post of hers that happened to be also something she had talked with me about previously, something interesting that had been on her mind that was now on mine as well. I had some more thoughts about the subject and put them down rather inefficiently as a bunch of comments on her post. Rather than make a whole blog post restating it all, I'll just link to it here.
31 May 2011
new prayers
Throughout my teens and 20s, I have been deeply impressed more and more by how my parents have prayed for us children, especially the unique, detailed things they asked of the Lord for each of our lives while we were still unborn. My mother and daddy both wrote down those prayers, and it builds my faith in how amazing God is to see the answers that have come so many years later, in such different ways than might have been foreseen.
I used to think I would be some other mature, awesome person when it was my time to pray for my unborn children. The time has come sooner than I expected. I'm not mature and awesome, but I still want to be like Jesus, my graceful and gracious Mimi and my never-boring, long-praying parents.
I know that more prayers will come to my heart, and to Steve's, but this last week I have wanted to pray that this child will be mighty in the Lord and boldly tell people about Jesus. I guess I would pray that for all my children, but it seems special for this one.
The only other thing I've thought of yet is this: I really pray that this child will be able to hear harmonies like its mother. On the surface, it seems not the deepest of prayers, but singing harmonies with other people feeds my soul, and I would love to have a child who would be able to share that with me.
I thought of it while home last weekend. The whole family, even Daddy, stayed up late outside, Daddy and Stephen churning a broken ice cream maker with a wrench, all of us telling stories and laughing, but mostly singing together. When I can turn to one of my sisters and say, "You go up, I'll go down" and the rest of the family sings the melody, it is one of the best moments in my life, and always has been. I feel blessed to have been made so amazingly happy by something that some are never able to even notice or care for. People are all blessed in their own way, but I am very grateful my way, if that makes sense. I'm sure everybody feels that way. I hope they can.
So, bold sharing of Jesus, and harmony. I'll be interested to see what other prayers come into our hearts for this one.
I used to think I would be some other mature, awesome person when it was my time to pray for my unborn children. The time has come sooner than I expected. I'm not mature and awesome, but I still want to be like Jesus, my graceful and gracious Mimi and my never-boring, long-praying parents.
I know that more prayers will come to my heart, and to Steve's, but this last week I have wanted to pray that this child will be mighty in the Lord and boldly tell people about Jesus. I guess I would pray that for all my children, but it seems special for this one.
The only other thing I've thought of yet is this: I really pray that this child will be able to hear harmonies like its mother. On the surface, it seems not the deepest of prayers, but singing harmonies with other people feeds my soul, and I would love to have a child who would be able to share that with me.
I thought of it while home last weekend. The whole family, even Daddy, stayed up late outside, Daddy and Stephen churning a broken ice cream maker with a wrench, all of us telling stories and laughing, but mostly singing together. When I can turn to one of my sisters and say, "You go up, I'll go down" and the rest of the family sings the melody, it is one of the best moments in my life, and always has been. I feel blessed to have been made so amazingly happy by something that some are never able to even notice or care for. People are all blessed in their own way, but I am very grateful my way, if that makes sense. I'm sure everybody feels that way. I hope they can.
So, bold sharing of Jesus, and harmony. I'll be interested to see what other prayers come into our hearts for this one.
23 May 2011
feel the power
(Oh, I can feel it.)
In the next month, I need find something to wear to:
3 showers
a graduation
2 rehearsal dinners, and
a wedding. (in which I can't be too outlandish because I'm the pianist.)
I do not know how most of my clothes will fit me in the next few weeks, but I feel some sort of satisfying powerfulness at the thought of not buying anything new. Anyone can go buy something and turn up looking great, but I mean to take on the challenge of using (gasp!) what I already have. I think I trust my own creativity and weirdness with my clothes to be able to come up with at least a few interesting things. It should be fun. Wish me luck!
In the next month, I need find something to wear to:
3 showers
a graduation
2 rehearsal dinners, and
a wedding. (in which I can't be too outlandish because I'm the pianist.)
I do not know how most of my clothes will fit me in the next few weeks, but I feel some sort of satisfying powerfulness at the thought of not buying anything new. Anyone can go buy something and turn up looking great, but I mean to take on the challenge of using (gasp!) what I already have. I think I trust my own creativity and weirdness with my clothes to be able to come up with at least a few interesting things. It should be fun. Wish me luck!
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